Relationship with Experience

What does it mean to develop relationships with experiences? How does it happen?

The false perception of self or reality, or the ego, the “me” character, always thinks that it is in the center of experience. The "me" always thinks that events happened to it, for it, against it, or because of it. This false perception of self assumes it has a fixed position with experience so it doesn't let an experience come and go without attaching meaning to it. Experiences appear and disappear naturally. They seem to last when create a relationship with the experience. But what is actually lasting is the commentary about experience, not the experience itself. Much of the "reality" of the fasle sense of self is just commentary on experience that is no longer present or has never been present.

How might one negative thought spiral into many negative thoughts?

We somehow have thoughts and/or doubts and we call them unpleasant, challenging, or energy-draining, and so we try to reject them. But why? Why do we try to reject them when they come in? When the thought “I doubt myself” comes in, why do we try to do something about it? But when the thought “blue is nice” comes in, we don't try to do anything about it?

Thoughts like “I'm not good enough”, “I doubt myself”, or “I’m sad” are not negative and don't create any spiral because a thought only lasts a moment.

What causes the spiral of "negative" thinking is the added commentary and the effort we invest into them. It creates continuation of attachment a thought that appeared and disappeared within a second. And so we start to lose ourselves in the script about a thought that is no longer there.

“When we try to fight or reject something, we develop a very deep bond with it.”

When we call something unnecessary or unpleasant, or wrong or negative, and feel we need to push it away from our experience, we often end up developing a very strong bond with whatever we are trying to push away. How much energy do we waste trying to change experiences that are naturally arising?

Do we develop the same type of attachments or relationships with “positive” experiences too?

We develop an attachment to what we call positive experience, as much as we develop attached attachment to what we call negative experience, but all experiences are naturally arising phenomena.

We might deal with so-called negative thoughts by applying positive thinking. But, it's like trying to end pollution blowing air towards the universe. The investment into positive thinking seem to wash away some of the pollution but it is an inefficient effort.

To end pollution we must dissolve the notion that we are separated from the environment. Once we recognize our oneness with the environment we will not pollut ourselves anymore. Negative thoughts and thinking is rooted in the "me" perception and its fasle sense of separation. We can infuse positive thoughts into it but we better dissolve the fasle perception all together.

​Thoughts are just a spec of dust floating in the wind.

​You don’t develop positive or negative relationships with the wind. You don’t try to reject it, manipulate it, or blow it away when it comes, right? No, you don't do anything with it. You just experience it. It just washes over us. And it has no significant factor in our experience. It's just a naturally arising experience. Same with thoughts. They are a spec of dust in the wind of experience. We don't need to develop a positive relationship. Nor do we need to develop negative relationships. You just let them arise and go exactly as they are.

Being welcomes all experiences; unconditionally, without judgment, without effort.
Who than wants experience to be other than it is? The "me" perception.

With heart,

Gil·ad (eternal-joy)