Human beings operate on a basis of perception, conditioning, sensations, and naturally arising thoughts…
Including the thought, “I have free will and I’m the agency of my actions.”
But if it were that simple, all of us would only ever have experiences of well-being, all of the time.
The choice to participate in harmful thoughts, actions, and behaviors isn’t free will.
Rather, perception and conditioning are so deeply rooted within our functioning that they drive the mind-body internal and external processes, despite any desire or “free will” not to do so.
Treat the perception, not the person.
Speak to the being, not the character.
Treating the person is like tapping on the computer screen when the Excel software shows an error message.
Speaking to the character is like talking to the incorrect output of your Excel spreadsheet.
There is nothing wrong with the screen, and you cannot address the incorrect output.
Both are just apparent symptoms of a bug in the software; they operate on behalf of the bug.
A person’s harmful functionality is the apparent symptom of “bug” in perception.
The “incorrect” behavior (output) operates on behalf of the perception.
Correct the bug, and you will have corrected both the error message and output. Heal the perception, and you will have healed both the behavior and the person.
Whether it is with yourself, your relationship, or your leadership, if you’d like to transform harmful thoughts, tendencies, or behaviors, do not address the person. Try to understand the perception from which that person’s functionality is formed.
To heal our perceptions and conditioning we must see ourselves beyond them. We must see how their function is itself just a perception of the apparent character.
No one and nothing needs healing because no one and nothing was ever broken.
The only thing that needs healing is perception. The perception that it was any other way.